Monday, February 20, 2006
Monday Madness
Grab a giggle or a grin,
As Another week begins ...
And share them with a friend!
BY The Inch
Rich, Eddie and Michael decided to visit a prostitute.
It was a slow night, so she gave the guys a deal. "You can pay by the inch."
When Rich comes back out his friends ask, "How much did she charge you?"
"$75 dollars." said Rich with a wink and a smile.
Eddie goes in and returns with a fee of $85, and several "high fives." The first two were proud of their prowess.
Michael goes in and returns. "How much did she charge you?" asks Rich.
"$20 dollars," replies Michael.
Both Rich and Eddie started laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied Michael, "I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out instead of on the way in!!"
*******************************************************************
Chinese Torture Tests
A man was out in the Chinese wilderness and he was hopelessly lost. It had been nearly three weeks since he had eaten anything besides what he could forage and he had been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
One afternoon he came upon an old mansion in the woods. It had vines covering most of it and the man couldn’t see any other buildings in the area. However, he saw smoke coming out of the chimney.
He knocked on the door and an old man with a beard almost down to the ground answered. The old man squinted his eyes and asked, "What do you want?"
The man said, "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight."
The old Chinese man said, "I'll let you come in on one condition. You cannot mess around with my granddaughter."
The man, exhausted and hungry, readily agreed. "I promise I won't cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tomorrow morning."
The old Chinese man replied, "Okay, but if I do catch you then I'll give you the three worst Chinese torture tests ever known to man."
"Okay, Okay," the man said as he entered the old house.
That night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful the granddaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been lost three weeks, he had gone many, many months without sex. The girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather. They couldn't keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal. That night, the man snuck into the girl's bedroom and they had quite a time.
The man crept back to his room later that night, thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests would be worth it after that experience."
The next morning the man awoke to a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign that said. "First Chinese torture test: 100-pound rock on your chest."
"What a lame torture test," the man thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out.
On the backside of the rock was another sign saying, "Second Chinese torture test: right testicle tied to rock."
The rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, so he quickly jumped out the window after the rock. Outside the window was a third sign saying, "Third Chinese torture test: left testicle tied to bedpost."
************************************************************************
You know you are a teacher if...
You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people's stupidity.
You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
You have no life between August to June.
When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozak.
You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "Never DREAM" of doing your job.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You know you are in for a major project when a parent says "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
You want to choke a person when he or she says "Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"
(Now, tain't that the truth!)
**************************************************
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
As Another week begins ...
And share them with a friend!
BY The Inch
Rich, Eddie and Michael decided to visit a prostitute.
It was a slow night, so she gave the guys a deal. "You can pay by the inch."
When Rich comes back out his friends ask, "How much did she charge you?"
"$75 dollars." said Rich with a wink and a smile.
Eddie goes in and returns with a fee of $85, and several "high fives." The first two were proud of their prowess.
Michael goes in and returns. "How much did she charge you?" asks Rich.
"$20 dollars," replies Michael.
Both Rich and Eddie started laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied Michael, "I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out instead of on the way in!!"
*******************************************************************
Chinese Torture Tests
A man was out in the Chinese wilderness and he was hopelessly lost. It had been nearly three weeks since he had eaten anything besides what he could forage and he had been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
One afternoon he came upon an old mansion in the woods. It had vines covering most of it and the man couldn’t see any other buildings in the area. However, he saw smoke coming out of the chimney.
He knocked on the door and an old man with a beard almost down to the ground answered. The old man squinted his eyes and asked, "What do you want?"
The man said, "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight."
The old Chinese man said, "I'll let you come in on one condition. You cannot mess around with my granddaughter."
The man, exhausted and hungry, readily agreed. "I promise I won't cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tomorrow morning."
The old Chinese man replied, "Okay, but if I do catch you then I'll give you the three worst Chinese torture tests ever known to man."
"Okay, Okay," the man said as he entered the old house.
That night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful the granddaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been lost three weeks, he had gone many, many months without sex. The girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather. They couldn't keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal. That night, the man snuck into the girl's bedroom and they had quite a time.
The man crept back to his room later that night, thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests would be worth it after that experience."
The next morning the man awoke to a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign that said. "First Chinese torture test: 100-pound rock on your chest."
"What a lame torture test," the man thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out.
On the backside of the rock was another sign saying, "Second Chinese torture test: right testicle tied to rock."
The rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, so he quickly jumped out the window after the rock. Outside the window was a third sign saying, "Third Chinese torture test: left testicle tied to bedpost."
************************************************************************
You know you are a teacher if...
You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people's stupidity.
You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
You have no life between August to June.
When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozak.
You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "Never DREAM" of doing your job.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You know you are in for a major project when a parent says "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
You want to choke a person when he or she says "Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"
(Now, tain't that the truth!)
**************************************************
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
SagArt's Wacky World
Thanks to our SagArt fans, we have a healthy supply of great funnies to share with all of you. Now ya'll don't be greedy! Send them on to your family and friends that could use a smile today - even if you're afraid that a real smile might crack their face. It'll do em' good, and only hurts for a minute. Ya'll behave, and if you just can't manage it ... call me and I'll join ya'!
******************************************************
Blonde Paint Job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
______________________________________
Girls Night Out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
______________________________________________________
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
_____________________________________________________________
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
******************************************************
Blonde Paint Job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
______________________________________
Girls Night Out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
______________________________________________________
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
_____________________________________________________________
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Giggles And Grins!
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a Priest and asks for his opinion on this question.
After consulting the bible, the Priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."
The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a Minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.
He queries the Minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!
Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.
In other words, he goes to a Rabbi.
The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."
____________________________________________
KANSAS GIRLS:
Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had been giving their new wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from Colorado, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Oklahoma. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Kansas girl. He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed,laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything.
The second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, run the vacuum, do a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, and go out and mow the lawn.
Aaahhh, a Kansas girl !
__________________________________________
The Honeymoon!
A couple return from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.
"Well," replied the man, "when we had finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom and I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, I shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over it though, she gave me $20 change!"
____________________________________________________________
Bubba and Earl
Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."
_____________________________________________________
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
After consulting the bible, the Priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."
The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a Minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.
He queries the Minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!
Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.
In other words, he goes to a Rabbi.
The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."
____________________________________________
KANSAS GIRLS:
Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had been giving their new wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from Colorado, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Oklahoma. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Kansas girl. He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed,laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything.
The second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, run the vacuum, do a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, and go out and mow the lawn.
Aaahhh, a Kansas girl !
__________________________________________
The Honeymoon!
A couple return from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.
"Well," replied the man, "when we had finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom and I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, I shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over it though, she gave me $20 change!"
____________________________________________________________
Bubba and Earl
Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."
_____________________________________________________
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Grab A Giggle!
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
_____________________________________________
Would You Do It?
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little ready. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you do it with me?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't"
"I'm begging you..."
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and do it, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come herself and do it, But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
_____________________________________________________________________
The Old Rooster
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
"OK old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
"Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story? .
Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
_____________________________________
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
_____________________________________________
Would You Do It?
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little ready. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you do it with me?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't"
"I'm begging you..."
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and do it, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come herself and do it, But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
_____________________________________________________________________
The Old Rooster
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
"OK old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
"Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story? .
Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
_____________________________________
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Open Mouth, Insert Foot!
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Please share this with all your friends who love - but sometimes hate their computer!
__________________________________
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Please share this with all your friends who love - but sometimes hate their computer!
__________________________________
Grab your St Patricks Day 2006 t-shirts and gifts at SagArt.net and Children's T-Shirt Teacher!
Our child clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, modern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Crazy Funnies!
A Living Will
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
______________________________
Personals Ad
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.
(Men are so easy).
__________________________________
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may
bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days
when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give
you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
___________________________________________
Our chlid clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, mordern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
______________________________
Personals Ad
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.
(Men are so easy).
__________________________________
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may
bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days
when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give
you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
___________________________________________
Our chlid clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, mordern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
Friday, February 10, 2006
PONDERISMS
PONDERISMS
* * I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.
* * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out
of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
* * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
* * Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
* * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
* * Life is sexually transmitted.
* * Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
* * The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
* * Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
* * Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
* * Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
* * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
* * All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
* * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
* * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
* * Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
* * Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
* * Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
* * If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?
* * Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
* * Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?
* * If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
* * Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
* * Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
* * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
____________________________________
Our chlid clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, mordern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
* * I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.
* * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out
of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
* * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
* * Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
* * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
* * Life is sexually transmitted.
* * Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
* * The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
* * Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
* * Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
* * Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
* * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
* * All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
* * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
* * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
* * Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
* * Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
* * Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
* * If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?
* * Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
* * Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?
* * If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
* * Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
* * Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
* * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
____________________________________
Our chlid clothing boutique stocks designer kid clothing and designer baby clothing for all your shopping needs. Visit Children's T-Shirt Teacher's kid clothing store for original designed baby clothes and kid clothing for the newest trends in children's clothing.
Looking for a unique wedding gift or wedding party gift idea? Trying to find a 50th wedding anniverary gift or a wedding anniversary gift idea for a special couple? Our Wedding & Anniversary Gift shop has the latest in unique wedding gifts, wedding party gifts, traditional wedding anniversary gifts for everyone!
SagArt T-Shirt Designs offers the best humor t-shirts with funny t-shirt slogans that will keep them laughing!
Watch-Clock offers kitchen wall clocks, decorative wall clocks, contemporary wall clocks, novelty wall clocks, mordern wall clocks, and retro wall clocks. We have large wall clocks for every room in your home or office.
